It has been a while since my last post...

My first college school year seemed to be odd, and yet exciting. I learned a lot about myself, and others... and i hope to keep growing throughout the years to come.

Summer is summer. Wake-up late, work, party at night. It's fun, but nothing out of the ordinary.

LAWL!

He is like 12.

I am so very overwhelmed....

not much else to talk about.

this is cool...

The proud. The few. The Marines.

GLOBULAR

I am sitting in Astronomy attempting to pay attention, but I bring myself to! Globular clusters are what we are talking about... and all I can think about is how funny the word Globular is. GLOBULAR... do you think some one would get offended if you said, " you are looking pretty globular." I think of that big marshmallow man from Ghost Busters.... GLOBULAR!!!!! hah!
what kind of things do you find globular?

woot woot Weebly!

http://eng102firearms.weebly.com/

:)

Monday: Today we broke off into our groups to talk about our essays. Casey came around and talked to one individual in each group and went over their essays and gave them input- which was beneficial for the whole group.

Wednesday: Today we got into the circle of love and read Shandi and Amanda's papers. We talked about the structure of writing an essay over an article.

Friday: Amy and Kaitlyn's papers we reviewed in the circle of love. Casey gave us a few questions to think about if we are using the moral flexibility essay- one being, "What does moral flexibility do for an argument?" We went back over the structure of writing - mainly discussing introduction and if it reflects all of what we are talking about. Then we has eight minutes to free write on our blogs. :)

Psychology of Human Sexuality

I strongly suggest you all to take Psychology of Human Sexuality with Dr. Adams next semester. The first couple of days are a little frightening because she lets you ask her ANY question... and you will find out somethings that only herself, god, and her priest should know. But she is trying to get the class comfortable for the things that some may feel uncomfortable talking about, and it works- she weeds out the unworthy within the first week.
This class is geared toward educating about sexual behaviors, sexuality, sexual stereotypes, etc. It also helps people to understand all of those things about themselves.

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While reading my paper over firearms within our class, I realized I needed to make my opinion a more clean and less general. I had many awkward sentences- my goal is to have my paper flow a lot better. I have a lot of trouble with transition in all of my papers I write... it seems I jump around from topic to topic within it. I did write an outline for my firearms paper and that helped to get more of a frame around my work. I am going to start doing this for all of my work for better progress of transitioning and staying on topic.

From this class I have started writing a lot about many things outside of my school curriculum. Writing my beliefs, judgments, and opinions on... anything has become enjoyable for me.

There is not much food for a vegetarian at stinking Ball State! The food that vegetarians can eat has little or no protein. I Have been a vegetarian since the age of thirteen, and I know the amount of non-meat foods that I need to eat to get the right amount of protein for my dancer body. I feel sorry for the vegans at the school, because what i eat to get more protein is cottage cheese, soy milk, and eggs- they can not eat those things.

I say Boo to you BSU meal planners.

My spring break consist of doing work for my major, reading and watching my neices and nephews! I am not mad about not falling asleep on a white hot beach, while being checked out by really really gorgeous men... not mad. :)

I get to hang with this cute cute...

The Vagina Monologues

I went to see The Vagina Monologues last night. I felt liberated as a woman, and informed about violence that is happening to women around the world. I strongly suggest that you go. Performance dates are March 3, & 4, at 7pm, in AR217. Tickets are $7.00 – of which %100 goes to charitable causes. $6.30 will go to Muncie’s A Better Way, the local shelter for battered women, while $0.70 will go to the following international program:
CREATING the City of Joy in Bukavu—a project of Panzi Hospital in partnership with V-Day and UNICEF. V-Day is helping to build this leadership development center that will be a refuge for healed women survivors of rape and torture, providing them with educational and income-generating opportunities, activism training and leadership skills. Read more at: http://newsite.vday.org/

Spring Break

I am really excited for Spring Break. I am going to work most of my break but for a few days of the break I am going to take a train up to my brothers how and spend time with him, his three boys, and his wife. I am super stoked!
I am also happy that I am going to have time to work on my dance portfolio. I am actually a little excited to start it even though it is going to have sixteen sections being about five pages each section. :)

What are you guys doing for spring break?

thesis for paper one.

Thesis: The Performing Arts departments, of Ball State University and across the United states, are having rapid funding reduction.

The reason why people should care is because the performing arts is an expressive form for ones whether watching it or being the performer. Learning about the Performing arts gives someone knowledge about themselves and about people in the world. I bet you are curious as to how that could be; how could watching a performance or being in a performance help one learn about themselves? Here is an example.

The dance department of Ball state put on a performance called works in motion. Works in Motion is for dancers of the department to show some dance pieces they are working on. The were all very wonderful, but one boy went up and danced and i knew it was about someone he had lost. I was brought to tears at how his performance brought me to a time in my life, and I did not feel so alone for those few moments.

The performing arts guides a person to understand the world and who/what they are to it.

new music...

My buddy Michael is a rapper from Indy.
He has a really good heart and deserves to be doing this for a living.
http://iaintshit.ning.com/

:) tell me what you think...

Really good book!

My high school Psychology teacher is a brilliant woman who published her first book a few months ago. This book is called Turning Thirty-Twelve. This is a hilarious romance novel that tells the story of a divorcee suffering from empty-nest syndrome from her children leaving for college.

http://www.bookstrand.com/authors/sandyjames/

The book is only $5.50 on this website, and it is a MUST READ!

Give me your feedback on what you think about her. :)

Coffee, Red Bull, Coffee, Red Bull...

Do you ever get to the point where you can no longer go on unless you have a coffee and a red bull at the same time?

that is me today! It is Thursday, and Friday cannot come fast enough.


And FYI... there is a thing called works in motion tomorrow being put on by the dance department... it is only a Dollar to come see the artistic ability of BSU's dancers.
When- 6 PM at Ball Gym
BE THERE! Because i am in it. :)
and you can come see this ballerina do hip hop! ;)

i feel problematic today

I want to change my topic for our papers.
I just lost interest and that is not so good. :(

also, boys blow! What i have learned from feelings of wanting companionship is that it is a waste of time that i don't have. And that no one gets what/who they want... accept for the ass holes who always get their way.

I want to join the Peace Corps. But, can not really do that when I am in school... and by the time i get out of school i will be like 27 or 28... and prolly want pursue being in the Peace Corps if i wait.

i am all sorts of fucked up.

I miss my family. I really miss my mom. :( we hardly talk anymore and there is so much to tell her but every time we talk i just want her to feel like she can talk to me and tell me how her life is (best run on sentence ever). :(

My mind is everywhere where it should not be... and i just want to know what to do with everything. Everyone says that things will fall into place... but you have to let them fall first... and i haven't done that yet.

I feel bitter and heartless anymore. it sucks.
I am always sitting in the...

really funny.

California...

I am trying to figure out my spring break. I am thinking of visiting my friend who is in the Marines in California, but i am freaking out because a non-icky hotel and a flight is close to a grand... :( And booking online really scares me.

I really want to see him. His name is Dustin and he was my high school sweetheart. We have grown apart in many ways but stayed very close in others. I don't want to be poor anymore so i can go see him. :( My mom is telling me to ask him to pay for it, but I think he is putting his ass out there for me in the marines and paying for my trip there... that is a little much don't you think. haha

I miss him. He came to Ball State when he got out of Boot Camp, and that was the last time I got to see him. We talked for hours but it didn't seem long enough. He used to be so loud and goofy, but now he is very collected and soft spoken... it is weird to me in a way... lol... But he seems more like a man.
I miss him, and want to see him.
He is leaving for Afghanistan in July, and I want to see him before he leaves. :(

bahahahahahahahahaha....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CU2JhYM8tY.... cute! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJlPEHL85Ig.... really really cute. ;) bahaha i didn't know they made leotards this large... tehe

Beyonce= awesome... :)

If when my wife is sleeping
and the baby and Kathleen
are sleeping
and the sun is a flame-white disc
in silken mists
above shining trees,-
if I in my north room
dance naked, grotesquely
before my mirror
waving my shirt round my head
and singing softly to myself:
"I am lonely, lonely,
I was born to be lonely,
I am best so!"
If I admire my arms, my face,
my shoulders, flanks, buttocks
against the yellow drawn shades,-

Who shall say I am not
the happy genius of my household?

- William Carlos Williams

what do you think about this poem and its following song?

Thank You for Smoking

I read the syllabus about a day before our first class. As I skimmed over the Schedule for our semester I noticed something strange next to the dates of January 14th and 16th. Thank You for Smoking was what it said. I was very confused as to how this hilarious movie had anything to do with our class, but i did not question because it was a movie that we were going to get to watch over two classes (not that i hate class or anything(: ).

The day came for us to watch the movie and I was in shock as to how much this movie was relevant! weird huh? :)

So the story line summed up is about this man Nick Naylor who is a lobbyist who speaks on behalf of the Academy of Tobacco Studies and tries to protect the name of cigarrets. He said two quotes in the movie that really clicked with me. He said, "If you argue correctly you're never wrong," and " Convince them they are wrong then you are right." It is a way of manipulation that he used to do his job. He knew he was wrong but he knew how to be right.

Now this approach I would say is good to know how to use and how to spot it, but not the proper way to be a legitimate writer.

I have a thoery on why people think im so weird

So yesterday I saw these girls I dance with walk by me, and I qouted something from anchorman to them for shits and giggles...they just looked at me and kept a-walkin! how freakin RUDE is that! I heard one under her breath say, "what did she say?" and the other was like, "i dunno"...
This is not the only occasion this has happened at. HEHE It's like they think im... WEIRD or something! ;)

My friend Kim and I were walking and talking... and i noticed that about 50% of our conversation was of quotes from random movies that we thought were solid. also, a lot of our conversation was filled with talking about nerdy things(evolution, comic books, magic, boys, etc.) And it dawned on me... people just don't get my(and her) humor... well some at least. And those people who don't really get it seem put off by my... shall we say... personality.
This rude reaction is normally given to me by the typical female(girly is the only word to describe it!). But this brings the question up to me... Why?
Why do gals get so put off by me...?
I have all the parts they have. It's not like I am majorly different or anything. I like shoes (thats a lie... :) only ballet shoes). I like boys (even though my statues on facebook says I am in a relationship with a girl... tehe...)
my mom used to tell me that girls didn't like me because they are jealous of me! BAHAHA! and she always said i was the smarted in the class too... so her opinion doesn't count because she does the whole mom thing.
I mean i guess if we are so different... me not being really that girly... then there should not be a friendship-sincer there is nothing in common. But, I like meeting people and knowing about them and becoming their friend as they become mine... its fun... :)

soo... any sugestions on why girls don't really give me the time of day to be my friend or take advantage of the funny and stupid things i say!!!!!...?

some of my favorite things. :)

Family-

music-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4a8Rv0RVSY ... Five Finger Death Punch! I really dig metal music. I grew up listening to it. This band has a lot of lyrics that move me, and that i can relate to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMBgSfQI49E ... Dave Matthews Band! I started listening to DMB when i was about in 5th grade. I love the up-building beats and creative lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGmnJQ_BF0 ... Slightly Stoopid! :) This band is very very chill. this is the CD that i pop in to calm down and just be. hehe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPY32WPMoRw ... ben harper! This man just knows how to work it. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAiHve2JZvU ... Regina Spektor! She is a very very witty woman. I don't really dig woman musician that much, but she has very touching lyrics and artistic styles of music.

Dance-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IOBglx2X3I ... ballet! i love pointe ballet! It is challenging and beautiful!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t05SItfEV8U ... hip hop! Now not gonna lie... I am a Ballerina. And until about two years ago i was not able to shake it in front of people. Now its getting better. :) it is really fun and exciting to perform and to watch.

Books-
Night by Elie Wiesel- This book is a true story about a man telling his story about when he was a boy in a Nazi death camp. This was a very powerful and informative book about the life of the Jewish communities in the concentration camps. It made the Nazi camps seem more real and personal, they were no longer something i just learned about in school.

Uriel's Machine by Christopher Knight and Robert Lomas- Since I was young I have been very interested in the meaning of life, religion, the end of the world, and the truth behind biblical evens. This book kind of ties evolution with christianity and many other religions. This book really helped me gather some theories on my interests.

The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks- This book is just abnormally funny. I strongly hate zombie movies, pictures, commercials, and anything that has to do or relate to zombies. And this book really gave me a humorous look at my zombie phobia.