some bad and good news...

I looked outside and saw that the sun was shinning.
It was so beautiful; it was like the rays of lights were dancing. But then i stepped out there... and it felt like my ears were going to fall off. I mean come on! it's cold! :(

On a even worst note... i had an audition on Monday for the ball state dance company... I blew. :) haha I fell down the stairs a few weeks ago (my grace totally shows that I'm a dancer)... and my foot has been giving me problems since. I believe a bone may be broken but I'm to scared to go to the doctor and find out. Sooo... my audition was horrible because a lot of the turns and leaps were using my left foot(the messed up one) and i was all over the place. :(

good news...
:) this semester is very close to being over. :) I am so exhausted... :)

also The Devil Made Me Dance is showing this coming week... its good... you should go see it. :)

.... :(

Now you say you're lonely
You cry the whole night through
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you

Now you say you're sorry
For bein' so untrue
Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you

You drove me, nearly drove me out of my head
While you never shed a tear
Remember, I remember all that you said
Told me love was too plebeian
Told me you were through with me and
Now you say you love me
Well, just to prove you do
Come on and cry me a river, cry me a river
I cried a river over you

I cried a river over you
I cried a river over you
I cried a river over you

who says-

Who can determine if a life is more important than an object?
and who is to determine the price?
i don't understand your logic...
we tug and pull on each other and still get no where
its like is a big sea of nothing
and communication is the bird flying above in the air.

I once called on a sorcerer for help with my confusion.
he said my questions were the reason he turned to black magic.
I fell to my knees in anger and lack of being content.
As i knelt on the cold floor my body filled with an solution.
I had found there was no man with a higher knowledge than i
so i must take it upon myself like the sorcerer to capture it.

I fell tired of alchemy and magic
but found wisdom in my search.
i knew i would achieve something.
but that was not exactly what i was wanting to ingest
Now i lay here on my death bed wanting to know who says.
maybe as i pass the knowledge of answers to my questions will appear
then i can return to spirit form ready for the after life

So really, who who can determine if a life is more important than an object?
God?
Satan?
Mother?
Father?
Can you explain to me in all your glory...
please.

:)
tehe poems are fun. :)

...

and a picture for today... The Son of Man- Magritte... yes!
figure out the things that are... not right... tehe

Magritte kicks ass!

i sick.
:(
so im not writing much...
here is a song...

log 11 ;)

Monday- Our class reviewed "Black hair". I think we all enjoyed this memoir. Kacey also added the Soto doc. to black board for us.

Wednesday- Kacey talked to us about the essays we wrote. He seemed pretty disappointed in our lack of attachment to our writing. He told us a story about when he was sixteen and it explained to us that there is a difference between writing a summary and writing an essay about how we feel about the piece and our connection to it. We were let out early... it was weird. tehe

Friday- We broke off into groups and broke down the questions from the essay we had written. I think we are all kind of seeing how we need to connect to the writing more rather than summarizing in our essays.

Got money! :)

... if you don't dig this i don't know whats wrong with you... :)

last post con't.... :)

sooooo... i think im going to get him a art easel... and i am drawing him a picture of a weird ying yang tattoo that i found online... and i was going to put it on the easel and stuff. (ying yang because he always says we are like ying and yang... lol)->

The holidays... a time for jolliness... not

tehe. I am so scared as to what to get my boyfriend for Christmas... AHH I am terrible at getting gifts, and he totally deserves something fabulous. I'm just stumped at what to get him. ERG! lol He is really into art and and stuff, but i thought it may be kinda dumb if i just get him a whole bunch of art shit. IDK...
maybe you guys could help meh? :)
ok here are somethings that he likes:
-Drawing
-music-rock,metal, etc.
-games! he is a gamer... tehe so cute. but he works at game stop so i dont know of anything he cant get himself. he really likes the games where you think... rather than just see a person and kill'em. and he is a pc gamer mostly from what i can tell
-he likes football... he played hardcore in high school.
-he likes computers... i know nothing about them... so i dont know what i would do there.

manipulation

Manipulations are goofy. :)
being a female i have had to train myself to be able to manipulate things for the way i want them. for example tonight i went to burger king having five dollars on my bank card... and knowing i should not go over! And at that time i had not had food since 1 30 this after noon... so i knew that under five dollars what not going to get me enough food to satisfy my hunger. so i pull up to the drive through and the guy asks me what he can get me... after i asked him how is night was and if he was doing alright i replied with "i would like a six piece of cheesy tots with three extra if you would like." he giggle and said"ill see what i can do"... lets just say i got away with nine cheesy tots for the price of six.
:)
manipulations... goofy.

... :)

English 101 course goals
1. I feel that I am starting to understand that i need inquiry for my writing and reading.
2. This is a bit hard for me, but i am starting to grasp this as the class moves on.
3. YES! its drilled into us every class... i would hope i would understand this and be grasping it. :)
4.Yes... also drilled... but this does not mean im using it to my best ability.
5. Yes. This is what i think i have grow the most in. I look at my work from different angles.
6. I know i should, but i get off track a lot on this.
7. Yes. Circling up makes it a lot easier to see what I am doing wrong and what to do and what not to do with my work.
8. I am starting to feel more confident in writing about my opinion.
9. ..... Kinda. :)

Course Content and Format
1. Yes and no... because i still haven't broken out of my shell of being confident enough to talk about controversial things.
2. I feel that i am reaching this goal greatly.
3. ...i dont really understand this. :)
4. yes! this is my favorite... i always used to have going over and fixing it... but when other people give suggestions and i fix it and i see it is written so much better i feel awesome... soo yes i feel i am reaching this goal greatly.
5. NO! It has been very hard for me to come up with ideas... so this goal is completely not reached
6. Working on it.
7. working on this too. :)

University Core Curriculum Goals
1. Yes, i never knew i could learn so much from writing.
2. I hope. :)
3. ... eh... still having trouble with this.
4. yes... completely more than i thought i would be.
5. yes! thats all i can say. :)
6. Yes. I have learned greatly on how to analyze myself in these aspects.

Your turn article

Some topics....

• The use of music as a learning tool
• testing
• in the classroom
• attention
  
• the lack of

• Foster parent criteria
• income
• family background
• criminal background
• schooling
• marital status

• ..... any help. :)
  

English...

hmmm... so i have really been slacking in this class. I am not sure what it is, but i just have kinda given up putting forward a good effort. its truly sad... this i know... but, ugh... im sick of it.

people are funny.

Today in psychology we watched a video over the differences in men and women.

it was pretty depressingly funny. Naturally we are adulterers and are not satisfied with the opposite sex. Studies show that men have to work very hard at figuring out a woman's emotion by her face. Also, men aspire for eight to twelve sexual partners every year. LAWL! As a man's sex drive goes down with age a woman's sexual drive goes up with age... and when women get in the range of 30 to 35 they normally want someone else because the man she is with isn't fulfilling her needs.

The best part of the movie i thought was when a man explained why men seem to be ignoring women. He justified this by saying that men are born with hearing problems, biologically so they can tune out the noise the women is making when doing things for the family(cooking, taking care of the kids, etc.), and its not that men are ignoring women its that they have a hard time hearing them. hahahahahahahahaha!
i lawled like no other on that part... and i mean it makes total since! they used an example about the first dinner date. Women express themselves through verbal communication and men do so by physical communcation, hince, the dinner date is a way for the woman to talk and the man to express himself in other ways, while they do something together. :)

humans are funny.

the rebelion has struck!

Yesterday I skipped two classes, and it felt good! I have been trying so hard this year and its making me feel like shit! haha!!! soooo i decided to sleep instead of going to psychology and modern ballet. Ya know those two classes take so much energy out of me.

today i decided i am not going to wear normal cloths... im wearin my pj's! it feels awesome! :) If you can't tell i really need the weekend! lol


i still havent added on to my first post... i was going to do that sometime soon... but i havent had the chance. if you haven't read it go read it! its funny. :) its my very first post! lawl1

troubles!

I am once again having trouble finding a topic for our letter to the editor! Anyone wanna help me brain storm?
some ideas i have:

-Instead of promoting voting registration(on campus and in the news paper), promote the traits of the political parties
1. because most people our age don't even know who they are voting for...they are just voting because that is who their parents vote for.
2. because approximately half of the campus population has to register to vote by law anyway.

-tehe and thats all i have. :)

the art of movement...

-has the ability to transform my whole mindset to a alternate universe when dancing or watching someone else dance
-i have the ability speak more strongly though a movement than any word i could say
-control my world and kinesphere
-telling a story with my body
-and knowing that someone else may see my story but find another story within its beauty
-creates one to visualize music even when there is none
-understanding and becoming comfortable with my body
even when i am doing something goofy or weird i love to move that i am comfortable with doing so.
-i can feel every emotion within one dance
even when im at a school dance, dinner dance, wedding, the street... i can express everything just through my body language
-if i feel like shit one day or am having a hard time in my life and cant shake it... i can go dance for a hour and pour all of that out within just one hour and feel so relieved and revitalized
-dance gives me something to make goals in, aside from life goals. i want to get my leg this high.. or i want to be able to do this leap this high.

This i believe...

Oh man! The this i believe assignment was and is really hard for me to work on. I dont know whats up with me. I guess since at this time in my life i should have concrete beliefs and be screaming them off the roof tops...but, it just isnt clicking. it kinda makes my stomach hurt when i think about it! I mean here i am going to college livin the dream and nothing wants to come out of my head or mouth sainly! its completely and utterly upsetting to me.

i miss her

My niece is four.
For the first year of her life I took care of her. Some said i was her mom.
Directly after her first birthday my sister moved out and i rarely got to see my niece Meilah Jade.
A child who had become like my child was ripped away.
I got to see her today.
She is so beautiful and smart.
i miss being in her life and her being in mine.
:(

fridays

Does anyone else feel like when friday comes all the life has been sucked out by the last four days that had passed and the only thing getting you through is coffee and the thought of sleeping in to the late 9 30 AM? :)

Becoming an adult sucks.

PIC-TORS!!!!!!

This is my significant object... my adorable home.
yeah... i know... i should be a art major. hehe people tell me that all the time. :)

I did not have a picture and the interweb so i decided to draw it.

hmmm...

Why... I ask this three letter word to anyone and everyone and no one can give me the answer. There are a tremendous amounts of answers but I can not decider which is the correct answer to my small question. It is easy to concur all the different possible answers, but never one more than the other. Religion, science, and observation have gotten me no where, and it is eating me up. I feel like a child who sees its parents whispering about something to "grown up" for its little ears. I'm not willing to trust in Gods word any longer because it is not concrete, but I am also not willing to trust in science because i have trusted in God for so long i would feel blasphemous.

Man do I hate the world.

lawl... brain storming! ;)

topic topic topic....
what to do what to do.

- the Sarah flask
- zach gave it to me
- he was never good at giving presents.
-as ryan says it contains my giggle water
-Craig's pink blanket
- he asked me what i wanted for Christmas and i said make me something.
- he asked me what my favorite color was and i said every color but pink... and he made me a PINK blanket. :)

-;dlfkjadsf;lkjasd;fkjads;fjsa;ldfkj
i don't like this. :( its wierdo!

loneliness

I feel very alone. The lack of familiar faces and surroundings is saddening. The lack of energy to make new friends and get familiar is even sadder. human emotions are hilariously horrific. How there is always dark with the light makes me want to hurl and not bring things into my life that are filled with light for the fact of the knowledge that somewhere down the road there is going to be an equal amount of darkness along with it.
Depressing to a point... but on the other hand very funny. People strive for the light and end up getting the dark. so technically everyone is striving for the dark. lawl! :)

WTF... why so dick driven

As I have been walking around in a new town a new learning center I have become discouraged by what I have seen. People told me life would be "SOOOOO much different in college". They were wrong.

Well, let me give you a little back ground on myself before I start my statement just so you know where abouts I am coming from. I grew up the youngest of four children with a SINGLE mother. My mother never dated the whole time i was growing up because, all she needed was to make sure her children grew up right and were safe. So, seeing a companionship between a man and a woman was not a big part in my life. Now that I am older or AKA an "adult" I have dated some, and I had some winners (that ended up being losers) and some losers (who ended up being bigger losers than I thought). So I guess we can say I have not met a "good" guy/man/whatever.

What I found in all of the guys I dated and the guys I hung out with is that they are...(*~*takes beep breath in*~*) DICK DRIVEN! Yes. i know! I realized that somehow, either biologically or emotionally or SOMETHING, men only see women and a vagina. Yes, a man will probably not see their overweight 8th grade math teacher who had horrid breath as a vagina, but!!! most likely the woman having a interesting conversation with a man about... I don't know... the lead singer of Coldplay, And somewhere in that conversation that man realizes " that would be a good lay".

so I come to my point! WTF! I don't want to be a walking vagina on campus. I want to be Sarah, that totally neato woman who loves life. It's not different from where I came from at all, everyone is the same dick driven with different names.

Sex brings a relationship(if one at all) to a whole new level whether we like it or not... and noone gets it! Or, well, i guess the men (I don't know if I should even call them that) I have dated just don't concur. It's not that sex should be saved for mariage or that its unclean and ungodly, it is that it shouldn't be the priority in making a friend or a companion.

I promise I am not a woman's rights activist or a satanist... I just wanted to share my feelings on how I think men perceive most the women in the world and myself.

So, my advice for the day is:
-Men if you are overly dickdriven... tone it down. Meaningful Sex = good.... Dick driven = bad
-Women... Your not a vag! Get it through your head. Be something! Anything. Vagina's are not the prettiest. :)


To be continued to due to lack or time and concentration. :)